My First Panic Attack

The first time I had a panic attack I was in the 8th grade. I was alone attending my online English class when all of a sudden my chest began to tighten. I struggled to breathe. I was shaking and crying.  Worst of all, I didn’t know what was happening.

I remember sliding off the couch and falling to the floor. It felt like the weight of the world was on me. I couldn’t get up to get my phone. I was convinced I was dying.          

I remember dragging myself back on the couch. I had no idea what had happened. I didn’t want to scare my parents so I didn’t tell them until they got home that night. It  took two more panic attacks, one of which both my parents witnessed, until we figured out what was happening.

Panic attacks are often described as feeling like a heart attack. It’s true. If I’d been able to reach my phone, I would have called 911 and told them I was having a heart attack.  It’s been a few years now, and I still have panic attacks once every few months. I’ve learned I can’t stop them all the time, and that when one hits, I have to roll with the punches and let it play out.

Joannie, NH high school senior